The Reactions
The week following my diagnosis was an emotional shit storm of notifying family and friends, getting further poked and prodded and finding out more about my cancer.
Telling people that you have cancer is an interesting social experiment if anything. Two of my special friends have been diagnosed with cancer in the past few years so I can recall how I initially felt. I remember bawling my eyes out feeling like they were SURE to die. I also re-read my messages and emails that I sent to them which were filled with the same cliched stuff that people churn out when they just don't know what to say.
So in my typical blog style, lets break down the reactions that I encountered in that first week:
The Parentals
Telling my mum that I had Cancer was probably the worst thing I have ever had to do. I didn't even tell her about the lump as I was so sure it was a cyst so shit was she going to be in for a shock. I finally managed to get my mum on Skype. Her face appeared on screen and I welled up before I could even say anything. She didn't really cry when I told her but her big eyes looked even bigger with the shock of the news. She just hit parental mode, switched on the positivity and ensured me that dad and her would do everything to help and support me.
The Jokers
Kate and Cath are my oldest and dearests friends and I managed to get them on conference call the day after diagnosis. I was really annoyed that we couldn't get a three way camera working which didn't really bother them. Now you know why guys! Now you know. Well I told them the news and they didn't cry at first, but instead just started joking around - their obvious coping mechanism of choice. And yes, together we even had the uncanny ability turn Cancer in banter...we call it CANTER.
The Denialist
My bestie Hayley was hilarious. Trying to tell her what had happened on Skype through the worst internet connection of all time (nice one South Africa) took close to 20 minutes. When she finally heard me she kept on saying 'But what do you meeeeean?', 'No but really now, what do you mean?'
I was all like 'Erm Hayls, I am not too sure how else to say this?!'; 'I have Cancer Hayls, Caaaaaaaancer'.
The Weepers
Cancer is very close to the heart of my sweet friend Ash. I always think of her as just so kind and precious and I was not looking forward to telling her AT ALL. I knew once she knew it would be too hard to talk so I messaged my bestie Kate before so she was on standby to talk to her as soon we said goodbye. My dear sister Sue responded in a pretty similar fashion, I think she might of actually taken the news worse than me!
The Hippy
Hayley passed on the word to my friend Vic who is also familiar with this dreaded disease. She is up in the clouds and away with the fairies for the most part so her messages of love and light and positive vibes where pretty much novels. She also lit a candle for me which was really sweet and actually one of the first things to make me crack up!
The Colombian
I can't really recall his initial reaction as my eyes were way too blurry with tears. But, the Colombian has been my unwavering supporter, my rock and my source of total happiness in the month following my diagnosis. He has also been the only person that I have been able to get really (and I mean REALLY) upset in front of which I think gives you an idea of how special he is to me. He has seen me leap from laughing and happy, to sitting in a puddle of tears to being the grumpiest biaaaatch in the Southern Hemisphere (just a little side note that finding out you have Cancer can cause severe sleep deprivation so a little grumpiness is justified okay!) Lucky for me he thinks I am pretty sexy when I am grumpy or so he says ;) Leaving him behind was heartbreaking. I think I cried more at Sydney International (and all the way home) than I did upon discovering I had cancer.
The Action Planner
My London partner in crime, my beloved Winnie (Lyndall) put her game face on right away. She sent off all my reports to her dad and got my parents referred to the best people in Cape Town all within a week. Winnie is a straight shooter and has been one of the few people able to really drive home the fact that I will be A okay without being all hippy-dippy about it.
The Blonde Brigade
I had only been living in Sydney for 4 months when I was diagnosed, so I had only just started building some sound friendships. My beautiful, skinny blonde brigade - Claire, Sands and Gen, were my amazing Sydney support group. Beach days, walks, chats, calls, brunches - these girls were so great during those first few weeks and I am so thankful that I had them there when shit hit the fan.
The Cancer Coaches
Talking to people who have been through this whole cancer business is really amazing. They aren't awkward or weird, they just get it and they have the best advice about how to cope with those initial weeks when everything is very fucking scary. Little Kiwi Vick, a cancer warrior and survivor, has been so great at messaging me, giving me amazing little pearls of wisdom and keeping me so inspired by her strength. Mitchie, another Cancer ass kicker, was actually my self-appointed life coach for a while back in 2013 so he has slotted very easily into the role of Cancer Coach. He has been incredible - making me YouTube videos on all the things required to beat cancer. He has also created this amazing site to help set my goals and give me all the resources needed for my plan of attack. He has also been there to pep talk me back from the pits of despair when dealing with a few heavy blows.
Everyone Else
Sorry to lump you into this generic group but if I included every reaction I would be here till my cancer treatment is over! I have been quite overwhelmed by all the support from my family, friends and total randoms from literally all over the world. Don't be afraid to message me (I know Cancer is an awkward little bastard to talk about) and feel free to whip out one of the 1000 cliches I have been dealt in the past weeks. They drive me a bit nuts but I truly appreciate every kind word because there will definitely be times when I need to 'Be Brave' and 'Keep Positive' and there will be times when I need to remember that I am not alone and that 'We CAN Beat This'. But seriously, my mind has been blown by the beautiful messages, prayers and overall positivity and love I have felt from everyone.
And as for me...
Telling people that you have cancer is an interesting social experiment if anything. Two of my special friends have been diagnosed with cancer in the past few years so I can recall how I initially felt. I remember bawling my eyes out feeling like they were SURE to die. I also re-read my messages and emails that I sent to them which were filled with the same cliched stuff that people churn out when they just don't know what to say.
So in my typical blog style, lets break down the reactions that I encountered in that first week:
The Parentals
Telling my mum that I had Cancer was probably the worst thing I have ever had to do. I didn't even tell her about the lump as I was so sure it was a cyst so shit was she going to be in for a shock. I finally managed to get my mum on Skype. Her face appeared on screen and I welled up before I could even say anything. She didn't really cry when I told her but her big eyes looked even bigger with the shock of the news. She just hit parental mode, switched on the positivity and ensured me that dad and her would do everything to help and support me.
 |
| Mum was all like nooooooooo! |
 |
| Dad was all like whaaaaaaat!? |
Kate and Cath are my oldest and dearests friends and I managed to get them on conference call the day after diagnosis. I was really annoyed that we couldn't get a three way camera working which didn't really bother them. Now you know why guys! Now you know. Well I told them the news and they didn't cry at first, but instead just started joking around - their obvious coping mechanism of choice. And yes, together we even had the uncanny ability turn Cancer in banter...we call it CANTER.
My bestie Hayley was hilarious. Trying to tell her what had happened on Skype through the worst internet connection of all time (nice one South Africa) took close to 20 minutes. When she finally heard me she kept on saying 'But what do you meeeeean?', 'No but really now, what do you mean?'
 |
| What?! |
The Weepers
Cancer is very close to the heart of my sweet friend Ash. I always think of her as just so kind and precious and I was not looking forward to telling her AT ALL. I knew once she knew it would be too hard to talk so I messaged my bestie Kate before so she was on standby to talk to her as soon we said goodbye. My dear sister Sue responded in a pretty similar fashion, I think she might of actually taken the news worse than me!
The Hippy
Hayley passed on the word to my friend Vic who is also familiar with this dreaded disease. She is up in the clouds and away with the fairies for the most part so her messages of love and light and positive vibes where pretty much novels. She also lit a candle for me which was really sweet and actually one of the first things to make me crack up!
The Colombian
I can't really recall his initial reaction as my eyes were way too blurry with tears. But, the Colombian has been my unwavering supporter, my rock and my source of total happiness in the month following my diagnosis. He has also been the only person that I have been able to get really (and I mean REALLY) upset in front of which I think gives you an idea of how special he is to me. He has seen me leap from laughing and happy, to sitting in a puddle of tears to being the grumpiest biaaaatch in the Southern Hemisphere (just a little side note that finding out you have Cancer can cause severe sleep deprivation so a little grumpiness is justified okay!) Lucky for me he thinks I am pretty sexy when I am grumpy or so he says ;) Leaving him behind was heartbreaking. I think I cried more at Sydney International (and all the way home) than I did upon discovering I had cancer.
 |
| The Colombian and Puffy McPuffster (3 days after diagnosis) |
My London partner in crime, my beloved Winnie (Lyndall) put her game face on right away. She sent off all my reports to her dad and got my parents referred to the best people in Cape Town all within a week. Winnie is a straight shooter and has been one of the few people able to really drive home the fact that I will be A okay without being all hippy-dippy about it.
The Blonde Brigade
I had only been living in Sydney for 4 months when I was diagnosed, so I had only just started building some sound friendships. My beautiful, skinny blonde brigade - Claire, Sands and Gen, were my amazing Sydney support group. Beach days, walks, chats, calls, brunches - these girls were so great during those first few weeks and I am so thankful that I had them there when shit hit the fan.
The Cancer Coaches
Talking to people who have been through this whole cancer business is really amazing. They aren't awkward or weird, they just get it and they have the best advice about how to cope with those initial weeks when everything is very fucking scary. Little Kiwi Vick, a cancer warrior and survivor, has been so great at messaging me, giving me amazing little pearls of wisdom and keeping me so inspired by her strength. Mitchie, another Cancer ass kicker, was actually my self-appointed life coach for a while back in 2013 so he has slotted very easily into the role of Cancer Coach. He has been incredible - making me YouTube videos on all the things required to beat cancer. He has also created this amazing site to help set my goals and give me all the resources needed for my plan of attack. He has also been there to pep talk me back from the pits of despair when dealing with a few heavy blows.
or in Mitchie style...
Everyone Else
Sorry to lump you into this generic group but if I included every reaction I would be here till my cancer treatment is over! I have been quite overwhelmed by all the support from my family, friends and total randoms from literally all over the world. Don't be afraid to message me (I know Cancer is an awkward little bastard to talk about) and feel free to whip out one of the 1000 cliches I have been dealt in the past weeks. They drive me a bit nuts but I truly appreciate every kind word because there will definitely be times when I need to 'Be Brave' and 'Keep Positive' and there will be times when I need to remember that I am not alone and that 'We CAN Beat This'. But seriously, my mind has been blown by the beautiful messages, prayers and overall positivity and love I have felt from everyone.
And as for me...
Canter. <3
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