Mastectomy Woaaaahs
As I have already mentioned, having a mastectomy is one painful procedure. I did a fair bit of googling before the operation but nothing could prepare me for the blinding (and I mean BLINDING) pain. How people manage to have a double is beyond me - Angelina you be craaaazy girl.
At the beginning of this whole 'situation' I joked with friends about getting a new set of boobs. 'Ha ha it will be great,' I said whilst quietly masking my denial and terror. After everything I now know, I realise that this way of thinking is ridiculous and SERIOUSLY misguided. Its not a little nip around the areola, slip in a bit of silicone type situation. Oh no no no.
My boob took one hell of a beating. It was sliced horizontally, almost from one side to another, literally through the areola and just under the nipple. Then all my tissue was removed, an implant was inserted beneath my pectoral muscle and then I was stitched at the bottom of my boob and across the horizontal line. A small incision was also made along my outer armpit to remove my sentinel lymph node. As my nodes were such a cuddly bunch, the surgeon wound up removing 5 in total. The surgery took 4 grizzly hours, that's a loooooot of anaesthetic people.
The healing process has been long and hard, but nothing that couldn't be overcome. Here are a few of the unpleasant side effects.
BRUISING
It took me a week after surgery to actually notice that the whole side of my body was swollen and bruised. Right, so this could totally explain my complete loss of core strength...not that there was any there to begin with...
SWELLING
Here is a snap of my under boob and my torso looking pretty swollen and a bit purple. That little black spot is a stitch inside my boob (gag) that was used to hold everything in place before dissolving away into nothingness.
SCABBING
My nipple and the wound scabbed over and at one point I thought my nip was going to die and fall off WHICH IS TOTALLY A THING! It's called necrosis and it is as disgusting as it sounds. But thankfully, it has healed really well and looks as good as new!
SCARRING
Taking off my micropore for the first time was a harrowing experience. I collapsed in a heap, began shaking, burst into tears and huddled on the floor, waiting for the bathroom to stop spinning. That happened a few more times and to be honest I still get waves of nausea, fondly known as "the gags", when looking at the fresh pink scar. But it's early days and all scars eventually fade right? If anything it will be a sweet reminder of that time I axed cancer in the face.
PAIN
The initial pain was inexplicable and continued for much longer than I could have ever imagined. The boob and chest pain was one thing but the after effects of the lymph node removal was the real kicker. For weeks it felt like there was a really taught guitar string that would strum sporadic shooting pains through the length of my arm.
2. Going over speed bumps or worse yet speed dips
3. High Five-ing
4. Reaching for pretty much anything...
5. Trying to get out of the bath...
6. Washing my hair...
7. And the number one activity that nearly made me pass out from pain, that required every ounce of mental willpower like I have never know before...the dreaded GETTING OUT OF BED
It's over 2 months since surgery and I am doing well. I still struggle to sleep and in true Zoolander style I can't ever sleep on my left side. And although my arm's range of motion is finally past the 90 degree mark due to weeks of physio, I still can't quite wave my left hand in the air like I just don't care!
At the beginning of this whole 'situation' I joked with friends about getting a new set of boobs. 'Ha ha it will be great,' I said whilst quietly masking my denial and terror. After everything I now know, I realise that this way of thinking is ridiculous and SERIOUSLY misguided. Its not a little nip around the areola, slip in a bit of silicone type situation. Oh no no no.
My boob took one hell of a beating. It was sliced horizontally, almost from one side to another, literally through the areola and just under the nipple. Then all my tissue was removed, an implant was inserted beneath my pectoral muscle and then I was stitched at the bottom of my boob and across the horizontal line. A small incision was also made along my outer armpit to remove my sentinel lymph node. As my nodes were such a cuddly bunch, the surgeon wound up removing 5 in total. The surgery took 4 grizzly hours, that's a loooooot of anaesthetic people.
The healing process has been long and hard, but nothing that couldn't be overcome. Here are a few of the unpleasant side effects.
BRUISING
It took me a week after surgery to actually notice that the whole side of my body was swollen and bruised. Right, so this could totally explain my complete loss of core strength...not that there was any there to begin with...
 |
| Yeeeeeeeouch |
SWELLING
Here is a snap of my under boob and my torso looking pretty swollen and a bit purple. That little black spot is a stitch inside my boob (gag) that was used to hold everything in place before dissolving away into nothingness.
SCABBING
My nipple and the wound scabbed over and at one point I thought my nip was going to die and fall off WHICH IS TOTALLY A THING! It's called necrosis and it is as disgusting as it sounds. But thankfully, it has healed really well and looks as good as new!
TMI!
SCARRING
Taking off my micropore for the first time was a harrowing experience. I collapsed in a heap, began shaking, burst into tears and huddled on the floor, waiting for the bathroom to stop spinning. That happened a few more times and to be honest I still get waves of nausea, fondly known as "the gags", when looking at the fresh pink scar. But it's early days and all scars eventually fade right? If anything it will be a sweet reminder of that time I axed cancer in the face.
PAIN
The initial pain was inexplicable and continued for much longer than I could have ever imagined. The boob and chest pain was one thing but the after effects of the lymph node removal was the real kicker. For weeks it felt like there was a really taught guitar string that would strum sporadic shooting pains through the length of my arm.
It's crazy how even the simplest movements felt like torture. Here are just a few ridiculously simple things that I will never take for granted again.
1. Putting on a shirt
 |
| Ermmm can someone give me a hand please... |
2. Going over speed bumps or worse yet speed dips
3. High Five-ing
 |
| It's not gonna happen Tom! |
4. Reaching for pretty much anything...
 |
| Oooooh it's just so far awaaaay |
5. Trying to get out of the bath...
 |
| I'm never getting out of here... |
6. Washing my hair...
7. And the number one activity that nearly made me pass out from pain, that required every ounce of mental willpower like I have never know before...the dreaded GETTING OUT OF BED
 |
| I can't moooooooooove |
It's over 2 months since surgery and I am doing well. I still struggle to sleep and in true Zoolander style I can't ever sleep on my left side. And although my arm's range of motion is finally past the 90 degree mark due to weeks of physio, I still can't quite wave my left hand in the air like I just don't care!
 |
| Gimme a HIGH FIVE! |
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